i dont know what will i become when i'm in father's house. i really dont know. i dont wish to stay there. i dont wnat to go there. i dont know what more should i do to beg mother not to send me, mother had enough of me. i'm just useless & hopeless right ? 3 more days to go & i'm gone. 3 more days felt like 3 more hours. i cant stop crying since morning. i'm feeling down. only god knows how sad & how useless i think i am. haaaaaish )': i wish everything was like before. i hope so. should i blending in for others sake or for my own sake ? i'm going to miss mother, brother & father for sure ! i'm going to miss them. i dont know how i'm going to live when i'm in real father house. i dont know if i'm still schooling or not. i really dont know. i dont wish to go father house. in this situtation is so hard to think of anything. i dont think i could even sleep when i'm in father house. i dont think i could bear to be far from mother. i dont think i can. i'm just hopeless & useless child. i cant even studies, be a goodgirl or even think wisely, i should have listen to mother & people who advise me last time. i'm juts totally useless. haaaaaaaish )': i need ahkak leeya right now. i want her. shes th only one who understand me. haasih.