Th word ' trust ' is such a bigbigbig word huh ?
as you all can see, mother & father didn't trust me like before. everything i do all they thought was lie, i know i'm a liar to them right ? you all know how it felt when our OWN mother didn't trust as like before. yeaa, my mother didn't trust me like before & i'm extremly down now. everything change, everything is not like before. i wish everything was like before where i could see the giggles, smiles, shouting happyly. haaaaaish )': i wish i could get back those times. all became like this because of my ownself. i HOPELESS & USELESS, i know i've been repeating it way to many times right ? but it true right ? )':
I DONT WANT TO GO REAL FATHER HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT LOVE HIM LIKE HOW I LOVE MY MOTHER & FATHER!!!!! EVERYONE DONT TRUST ME ANYMORE!!! I'M JUST A BIGBIGBIG LIAAAAR!!! MOTHER WONT REGERT WHEN I'M GONE, SHE WILL HAPPY WHEN I'M GONE!!!!!! HAAAISH )': I REALLYREALLYREALL DONT WANT TO GO REAL FATHER HOUSE!!! I WISH I'M NOT LIVING IN THIS WORLD!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! -.-
I HATE MY OWNSELF, I HATE MYSLEF, I HATE WHAT I'M DOING NOW, I HATE ME FOR BEING A LIAR, I HATE ME FOR LYING TO MOTHER & FATHER, I HATE ME FOR MAKING MYSELF GET KICK OUT FROM MY OWN MOTHER, I HATE EVERYTHING THAT I DO !!!!!!!!!!!
I DONT HAVE ANY CHANCE NOW,I'M USELESS & HOPELESS, I'VE LIED TOO MANY TIMES, I WISH EVERYTHING IS FINE LIKE BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )':
i dont know what will i become when i'm in father's house. i really dont know. i dont wish to stay there. i dont wnat to go there. i dont know what more should i do to beg mother not to send me, mother had enough of me. i'm just useless & hopeless right ? 3 more days to go & i'm gone. 3 more days felt like 3 more hours. i cant stop crying since morning. i'm feeling down. only god knows how sad & how useless i think i am. haaaaaish )': i wish everything was like before. i hope so. should i blending in for others sake or for my own sake ? i'm going to miss mother, brother & father for sure ! i'm going to miss them. i dont know how i'm going to live when i'm in real father house. i dont know if i'm still schooling or not. i really dont know. i dont wish to go father house. in this situtation is so hard to think of anything. i dont think i could even sleep when i'm in father house. i dont think i could bear to be far from mother. i dont think i can. i'm just hopeless & useless child. i cant even studies, be a goodgirl or even think wisely, i should have listen to mother & people who advise me last time. i'm juts totally useless. haaaaaaaish )': i need ahkak leeya right now. i want her. shes th only one who understand me. haasih.
Hello Readers,
As you guys can see, i've actually delected all my post, accpet one right ? (: This blog gonna be dead when i'm gone )':, starting on wednesday i will not be updating this blog. I'm forever away to fathers house )': mummy had said it clear enough yesterday night. i was suspose to be blending in to be a goodgirl. But i think, i'm blending in to become worst isn't it ? )': haaaaaaaaish. I'm gonna miss HOUGANG & FAMILY so much. I'm just a bad girl towards my mother. My mother had enough of me she said, haish. its life huh, what goes through, i must go through, right ? Seriously i'm going to miss my Family in hougang, school in yishun, friends, cousin & all. This is going to be my first year celebrating Hari Raya with father's family. haaaaaish )': Everything became like this, is all because of me. Because of my ownself. I'm just useless & hopeless huh ? right ? )': I don't meant to be Rosnita's child. i am not meat to be hers in th first place. I'm going to miss everything that i've spend time with Mother, Brother, 3 - Father. haaaish )': I'm ging to miss th wonderful times & th bad times. seriously i'm going to miss all of this. All became like this was all my fault. Nobody fault accpet me, right ? So to that someone that keep on telling mummy about my blog & all, that msg mummy's hp. thankyou so much (: thaanks for making me know who am i all this while huh ? )': If mummy read this it will be good enough, i really know this is my fault not others, i lied to mother, i say bad thing about mother when i'm angry, i have boyfriends, i mixed with th wrong people, everything i do was all wrong, extremly wrong for a 12 year old girl. i acted like i'm already big enough while actually i was just 12 YEARS OLD! )': Everyone doesn't trust my anymore. So whatever i type here, mother & that person who always read my blog to tell mother, wouldn't believe what i said or what i type here. Mother surely thought i just wanted others to pity me. But seriously i'm not. i'm typing here with all my heart, i'm just a BADBAD girl. i know i am. haaaaaaaish. )':
To mother,
Mama, takecare of yourself when i'm gone ok ? I know i have been giving you lots of probelum & i'm sorry. i know you would laugh when you read this. i know you wouldn't trust me, i know you thought i type this was just to make you feel sorry for me. Actually not mama! never! I'm trying my best to studies & all. & mama, i will go to abah house as long as you're happy without me. But please, please remember me mama, please remember that you have a bbygirl child & that is me. you have takecare of me since i was BORN until i'm 12 years old now, thankyou so much mama, thankyou. I hope haiqhal doesn't gave you probelum like how i gave you. i've ruin your happiness, i know i have. i'm just sososo sorry, & again mama, please takecare of yourself, i will always remember you, when th time i step out from this house with abah, i know i'm not one of yours anymore. but please do remember me mama. haaaaish )':
To brother,
Haiqhal, takecare of mama ok ? dont be like me ok ? be a very goodboy towards mama ehh. Mon tahu mon bukan adik yang baik. mon tahu. but whatever it is, please takecare of mama ok. )':
To Father,
Thanks for giving me all your love, thanks for putting all your trust on me, but actually i lied so many times, Papa & mama will have happiness when Princess is gone ok ? Princess will study hard no matter what, princess will study hard, when i get my PSLE result. i will look for you & show you my result. I promised you that you will see me with my result. mark my word papa, you will see that your princess is in EXPRESS like how you want your princess to be. lastly, takecare of mama ok ? )':
To Lily, Wanie, Iyaah, Syidah, Raudah & Athira,
thaanks pasal korang selalu ader nan niiyah. niiyah happy dapat kwn mcm korang ok ? when ku da tkde korang kene jage diri baik2 tau. Kak Lily : haha, ingat adek tau. jangan luper adek. & yes, remember kalau adeq da 20 years old, kiter dua mesti jumpe pat depan jiemin primary school ney gate ok ? (: takecare! syg kak lily. Wanie : Waniee ! thanks for making me laughing all this while. jangan luper ku tau. && ingat jumper pat jiemin primary school when umor da 20 ok ? haha (: syg kau ! Kak Twiny : Kak iyaaaah atau Twiny, please remember that i'm your twiny & adek tau. adek syg kakak byk2 luh kan. heeehs. jage diri baik2 when adek da tkde ok ? adek selalu akan ingat kakak (: syg kakak twiny! Syidah : BESTFRIEND ! jangan luper ku luh ey ? haha. takecare of yourself when ku tkde. ku sentiase akan ingat kau ok ? syg kau luh biol ! heehs. Kak Athira : KAKAK ATHIRAAAA ! haha. you're just a bestbestbest friend, sister, twiny towards me. syg kakak luh ! Raudah : raudaaaah ! thanks for always being there for me. syg kaaaaau luh ! heeeehs.
To Khaireen, Hafiq, Amirul, fazil, Hafiz & Aqil,
Ahbg Khaireen : Woit ! haha. jage diri when adek da tkde yerr. haha. ahbg slalu bace blog adek kan ? so bagos. heeehs. syg ahbg luh ! Hafiq : Hafiqq ! jangan luper adek jugak ok ?? hahaha. syg ahbg ! Amirul : Bestfriend ! thaanks pasal kau selalu dgn ku dari p4 until p6. you're th best ! syg kau ! && jangan luper adek kesayangan kau ok ? haha, paham2 ajer luh kan. Hafiz : ay irritaing, heeehs. thanks pasal slalu buat ku megamok. hahaha. jangan luper ku luh kan Hafiz Biol ? (: Aqil : ayy abg ! hahaha. Jangan luper adek okay ? thaanks pasal slalu buat adek ketawe tk boley stop langsong, thankyou so much. syg abg Aqil Irritating luh ! hahaha (:
To 5 Kindness,
Yoo ! remember that i'm one of your 5 kindness ok ? 5 kindness i always ALIVE one. hahaha. i'm so gonna miss you all! dont forget me huh ? (: hahahaa. love youu all lotslotslots. heeeeeeehs. takecare 5K !
Done & Bye (:
As you guys can see, i've actually delected all my post, accpet one right ? (: This blog gonna be dead when i'm gone )':, starting on wednesday i will not be updating this blog. I'm forever away to fathers house )': mummy had said it clear enough yesterday night. i was suspose to be blending in to be a goodgirl. But i think, i'm blending in to become worst isn't it ? )': haaaaaaaaish. I'm gonna miss HOUGANG & FAMILY so much. I'm just a bad girl towards my mother. My mother had enough of me she said, haish. its life huh, what goes through, i must go through, right ? Seriously i'm going to miss my Family in hougang, school in yishun, friends, cousin & all. This is going to be my first year celebrating Hari Raya with father's family. haaaaaish )': Everything became like this, is all because of me. Because of my ownself. I'm just useless & hopeless huh ? right ? )': I don't meant to be Rosnita's child. i am not meat to be hers in th first place. I'm going to miss everything that i've spend time with Mother, Brother, 3 - Father. haaaish )': I'm ging to miss th wonderful times & th bad times. seriously i'm going to miss all of this. All became like this was all my fault. Nobody fault accpet me, right ? So to that someone that keep on telling mummy about my blog & all, that msg mummy's hp. thankyou so much (: thaanks for making me know who am i all this while huh ? )': If mummy read this it will be good enough, i really know this is my fault not others, i lied to mother, i say bad thing about mother when i'm angry, i have boyfriends, i mixed with th wrong people, everything i do was all wrong, extremly wrong for a 12 year old girl. i acted like i'm already big enough while actually i was just 12 YEARS OLD! )': Everyone doesn't trust my anymore. So whatever i type here, mother & that person who always read my blog to tell mother, wouldn't believe what i said or what i type here. Mother surely thought i just wanted others to pity me. But seriously i'm not. i'm typing here with all my heart, i'm just a BADBAD girl. i know i am. haaaaaaaish. )':
To mother,
Mama, takecare of yourself when i'm gone ok ? I know i have been giving you lots of probelum & i'm sorry. i know you would laugh when you read this. i know you wouldn't trust me, i know you thought i type this was just to make you feel sorry for me. Actually not mama! never! I'm trying my best to studies & all. & mama, i will go to abah house as long as you're happy without me. But please, please remember me mama, please remember that you have a bbygirl child & that is me. you have takecare of me since i was BORN until i'm 12 years old now, thankyou so much mama, thankyou. I hope haiqhal doesn't gave you probelum like how i gave you. i've ruin your happiness, i know i have. i'm just sososo sorry, & again mama, please takecare of yourself, i will always remember you, when th time i step out from this house with abah, i know i'm not one of yours anymore. but please do remember me mama. haaaaish )':
To brother,
Haiqhal, takecare of mama ok ? dont be like me ok ? be a very goodboy towards mama ehh. Mon tahu mon bukan adik yang baik. mon tahu. but whatever it is, please takecare of mama ok. )':
To Father,
Thanks for giving me all your love, thanks for putting all your trust on me, but actually i lied so many times, Papa & mama will have happiness when Princess is gone ok ? Princess will study hard no matter what, princess will study hard, when i get my PSLE result. i will look for you & show you my result. I promised you that you will see me with my result. mark my word papa, you will see that your princess is in EXPRESS like how you want your princess to be. lastly, takecare of mama ok ? )':
To Lily, Wanie, Iyaah, Syidah, Raudah & Athira,
thaanks pasal korang selalu ader nan niiyah. niiyah happy dapat kwn mcm korang ok ? when ku da tkde korang kene jage diri baik2 tau. Kak Lily : haha, ingat adek tau. jangan luper adek. & yes, remember kalau adeq da 20 years old, kiter dua mesti jumpe pat depan jiemin primary school ney gate ok ? (: takecare! syg kak lily. Wanie : Waniee ! thanks for making me laughing all this while. jangan luper ku tau. && ingat jumper pat jiemin primary school when umor da 20 ok ? haha (: syg kau ! Kak Twiny : Kak iyaaaah atau Twiny, please remember that i'm your twiny & adek tau. adek syg kakak byk2 luh kan. heeehs. jage diri baik2 when adek da tkde ok ? adek selalu akan ingat kakak (: syg kakak twiny! Syidah : BESTFRIEND ! jangan luper ku luh ey ? haha. takecare of yourself when ku tkde. ku sentiase akan ingat kau ok ? syg kau luh biol ! heehs. Kak Athira : KAKAK ATHIRAAAA ! haha. you're just a bestbestbest friend, sister, twiny towards me. syg kakak luh ! Raudah : raudaaaah ! thanks for always being there for me. syg kaaaaau luh ! heeeehs.
To Khaireen, Hafiq, Amirul, fazil, Hafiz & Aqil,
Ahbg Khaireen : Woit ! haha. jage diri when adek da tkde yerr. haha. ahbg slalu bace blog adek kan ? so bagos. heeehs. syg ahbg luh ! Hafiq : Hafiqq ! jangan luper adek jugak ok ?? hahaha. syg ahbg ! Amirul : Bestfriend ! thaanks pasal kau selalu dgn ku dari p4 until p6. you're th best ! syg kau ! && jangan luper adek kesayangan kau ok ? haha, paham2 ajer luh kan. Hafiz : ay irritaing, heeehs. thanks pasal slalu buat ku megamok. hahaha. jangan luper ku luh kan Hafiz Biol ? (: Aqil : ayy abg ! hahaha. Jangan luper adek okay ? thaanks pasal slalu buat adek ketawe tk boley stop langsong, thankyou so much. syg abg Aqil Irritating luh ! hahaha (:
To 5 Kindness,
Yoo ! remember that i'm one of your 5 kindness ok ? 5 kindness i always ALIVE one. hahaha. i'm so gonna miss you all! dont forget me huh ? (: hahahaa. love youu all lotslotslots. heeeeeeehs. takecare 5K !
Done & Bye (: